Thursday, August 15, 2013

The Greatest Role I've Ever Have

This could be one my favorite pictures of all times.  This was easily the sweetest moment of my life.  I just knew my heart was going to explode any second.  I am so thankful Joey caught this moment because I really don’t know if any moment in my life is going to be able to trump it.  It was just a moment of “Yes!  It’s official.  He is mine.  All mine.  No one in the world gets to kiss him, hold him, love him like me.  No one.  I am HIS.  I am his bride today and forever.  No one in the world gets to kiss me, hold me, love me like him.  No one!”  But seriously, my heart was seconds away from exploding.

Since become Colby’s wife, my life has been filled with precious moments.  The honeymoon, cooking supper together, accepting a freshly brewed cup of coffee from my sleepy-eyed husband, doing housework, going to an elementary playground, you name it.  My life has been rocked by this diamond band on my left hand (pun much?)

I am now living in the greatest role I will ever have.  So it is important for me to start strong and stay strong in my wonderful role of being a wife, Colby’s wife.  A friend of mine sent me a blog post about being a Godly wife and I absolutely loved it.  Therefore, I wanted to share it with you.. but with a personalized touch.

God is first.  Colby is second.
Before I can seek Colby and his heart, I have to first seek the man who created him and who created me and who created us to be together.  Keeping God first is simply getting in the word daily and living out the word daily.  Colby comes second.  Not me.  Not my job or school.  Not my parents.  Not our future kids.  Colby always, always, always comes second.

Understand the covenant.
Marriage is not what society tells us it is.  During our premarital counseling, Colby and I read “The Meaning of Marriage” by Tim Keller.  PHENOMENAL.  I would recommend to anyone in a relationship, married or not.  While reading this book and scripture I understood that marriage is not a promise.  Promises can be broken.   Marriage is not a contract.  Contracts can be breached.  Marriage is a covenant.  It cannot be destroyed.  God created marriage; therefore it is so precious to him.  He created Colby for me.  It is so important for me to recognize that gift.  He created a human being with certain qualities and skills and personality traits and strengths and weakness FOR ME and no one else.  And vice versa.

God knew what he was doing when he created marriage.  He did not create me to be the leader of our home.  Colby is the leader of the home, by design.  Colby’s ultimate job in our home is to stand at the doorway and keep the enemy out.  Therefore, my ultimate job is to be inside the home, supporting Colby and praying for him.  1 Peter 3 is a gorgeous reminder of submission.  Verses 1-4 say “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”  So in other words, I have a power in a quiet and gentle submission TO Colby that God is going to use FOR Colby.

Speak edifying words only.
Never will it be acceptable for me to talk negatively about Colby.  Like never ever.  I am to build Colby up and praise Colby for the things he does, doesn’t do, loves, disapproves of, whatever it may be.  I should never tear Colby down to his face or others.

Live out Proverbs 31.
This is scripture every woman should be familiar with.  It is something to strive towards as women.  Verse 11, “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, no harm all the days of her life.”  Verse 17, “she sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong her tasks.”  It’s such a beautiful goal to have, to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

Do it anyway.
This is huge and smacked me right in the face when I read it.  DO IT ANYWAY.  It so easy to do things for Colby when he is being sweet or when he offers to help or when he does something special for me.  But its harder, when he doesn’t do those things.  Nonetheless, I must DO IT ANYWAY.  Colby may not be fulfilling his role but here’s the catch, that’s between him and God.  (Woah!)  It is not my job to discipline him.  I have to do things for Colby because he is my husband.  Not because of the things he is or isn’t doing for me.  I must DO IT ANYWAY because in the whole scheme of things, I am seeking to please the Lord.  Period.

I learned so much about this from Eric and Kristin during premarital counseling.  Kristin point blank said. “Courtney, Colby cannot read your mind nor will he ever.”  Therefore, I must tell him.  I have to talk to Colby.  I have to listen to Colby.  I think Kristin would agree that I cannot read Colby’s mind either nor will I ever be able to.

Choose to focus on Colby’s strengths.
There really is no explanation needed for this.  Colby has a million strengths.  Why would I even want to focus on anything else?  He is strong, sensible, creative, hardworking, caring, a self-starter, never ever lazy, a soon to be grill master, friendly, sweet, content, athletic, smart and a million of things.  I’m telling you, I am the luckiest gal in the world.

Strive to please Colby.
Being ready to cook spaghetti at the drop of a hat, talking about coyote calls and fishing lures, having sweet tea in the fridge at all times, go kayaking or doing yard work with him, know how he likes his coffee, watching The Office.  Love him.  Be creative.  Exercise.  Eat healthy.  Dress up.  All for Colby.

Cover Colby in prayer.
Prayer is what makes Colby strong.  So I need to be in prayer for Colby all day, every day.  He is the leader of our home.  He is the one fighting the enemy in our home.  So Colby needs my prayers in order for him to be strong enough to fight at the doorway.

I am so new at this wife thing.  Therefore, I am seeking tips and advice from all willing sources.  When I read this woman’sblog post, I loved it.  And those values and promises sounded great so I decided to execute them for myself.  I have found that they speak hard truth but result in sweet reward.  So, I decided to opt out of doing laundry this afternoon and share these truths with you.

Happy Thursday, ya'll.


  1. the moment right after the wedding when Josh and I were alone is tied for my favorite moment ever as well. I highly recommend that everyone takes time to be alone right after the ceremony! it was the greatest.

  2. GREAT post! I wish I had lived like this early on...It took me a few years! I do try to wake up every morning and ask myself *What can I do to serve him today?* He does the same.........